A chap who had enjoyed a few of the walks featured in my walking and cycling guide ‘Backways & Trackways‘ dropped by my house a few days ago. By way of a small ‘thank you’ he gave me a couple of ‘Walk’ magazines (the magazine of The Ramblers) to keep and browse through.
I don’t know about you, but I quite enjoy magazines because, they are generally light reading and you don’t have to feel guilty if you don’t finish them. Anyway, there I was flicking through the pages when a small advert caught my eye; it was offering the perfect accessory for the active woman – so naturally, I read on.
‘THE SHEWEE’ No more bare bottoms (it said); no more unhygienic toilet seats or smelly portaloos (it said); no more uncomfortable squatting (it said); no more removing clothes (it said); stand up at public toilets (it said); now you ladies can pee up a tree (it said – or words to that effect)!
Now, I have to ask you, what is going on here? Life is becoming difficult enough for a chap (try commenting on the dress of a gang of semi-naked chicks on Maidstone High Street if you don’t believe me) without our last vestige of superiority being stripped away. Whatever next, I though as I read on, they’ll be competing in those ‘Who Can Piss Highest Up The Wall Championships’; and you’ll never be sure again of the gender of the ‘guy’ standing next to you as you ‘point Percy at the porcelain’. If this sort of thing carries on who knows where we’ll be? When I was a ‘squaddie’ in the British Army, I learned a (to me) very simple discipline; I learned how to march and pee at the same time! Now, before you mock, you try it. Try walking and peeing at the same time, it ain’t easy, and I’m convinced as an old airborne soldier, that it is things like this that win wars! (but I digress)
Anyway, I thought it best to check out their website and was rather disappointed to find that the pages on how to fit the ‘Shewee’ had been taken down but the home page offers tangible proof that the one single solitary advantage that we males have over our female adversaries is being undermined . . .
Thanks to the Ramblers Association we are alerted to the threat. Scroll down to learn the dreadful truth (they do it in Spanish, too).
Shewee is a moulded plastic funnel that provides women with a simple, private and hygienic method of urinating without removing clothes whilst standing AND sitting.
|When positioned securely under the crotch, and with underwear pushed to the side, Shewee directs urine away from the body to a suitable place, such as a toilet, a container or a conveniently located tree!
No more crossed legs or uncomfortable squatting.
Maintain your privacy and banish bare bottoms!
Stand up at public toilets to avoid unhygienic seats and smelly portable loos.
Hike/climb/ski/jog off the beaten track, miles from the nearest toilet.
Travel the world with the comfort of home in your pocket.