Dearest friends and family – it is less than twenty four hours since I sat here on this bed, in this room in my wonderful Number 1 Daughter’s home and wrote what I so needed to write. My J was sleeping the sleep of the exhausted back in my homeland of Turkey, in the village of Okçular where we have been accepted and made at home. I couldn’t call her and break her peace. Number 1 Daughter was also sleeping the sleep of the mentally and physically exhausted and I couldn’t disturb her either. And yet I needed to talk to someone in those dark hours and who better than my e-friends and colleagues who couldn’t interrupt or answer back directly.
Thank you for being patient and thank you for the words that flowed freely from your innermost selves. Will you ever really know what you contributed and gave? Perhaps. But I know and J knows and Number1 knows, my abla knows, and soon some others of my family will know.
This is my ‘Thank you’, instead of replying to each comment individually as I usually do – I know you understand. I’m so glad that Jack Scott, Natalie Sayın, Karyn Phillips and others, like Jane Akatay said ‘Go for it!’ Go and blog, tell your stories and have fun doing it. I never, in my most outlandish fantasy ever thought you would be there for times like this when I actually needed someone out there in the middle of the night. It never crossed my mind. I have realised that, over time, this community has solidified into more than just some ‘e-thing’ – it doesn’t just exist in the ether – it may exist on a different, parallel plane – but it does actually exist! There are hearts that beat and friends that care – what a lesson in humility!
Experience is a wonderful teacher and a wise person learns from the experience of others. If my daughter’s tormented adult life and death are to mean something more than a pronouncement in a coroner’s court, more than just memories to our immediate family, who thought they knew her – then learn – learn from the experience of others rather than your own, bitter experiences. Be a light, a candle for others, a haven – be human!
My warmest best wishes to each of you, thank you, from me and J and abla and Number 1; from Number 2 and those other family members who have been moved by your warmth and kindness.